Patience

These past few weeks, I haven't felt much like blogging.  In fact, I haven't felt like doing anything at all.  Almost a month ago, we had a "false alarm" where I thought my water had broken - fyi, it didn't, I'm sure.  I was having contractions, feeling like things were happening, and well as you can guess nothing has happened.  So I wait.

I'm a pretty private person in general, so I don't share the specifics of my doc visits and medical life history with most people outside a few select friends and family members.  I'm sure that most people don't understand why I am that way, but suffice it to say I have my reasons. 

Prayer has been a very big part of my life, and especially this pregnancy.  After so many losses in the past year, I realize I can't do it alone.  So Heavenly Father and I have had and continue to have MANY conversations on a daily, sometimes hourly basis.  He is trying to teach me patience.  I am not a very good student.  Apparently.  I am doing my best for the time being, but I hope to have mastered it to some degree soon.

As for the babies... I don't like medical interventions.  I've had enough in my life to know that my body doesn't react well to most of them, so I have been very clear that I don't want to be induced (unless it's absolutely necessary), and I don't want a C-section if I can at all avoid it.  So, we are waiting until the babies are ready to come on their own.  It's hard to wait, for sure.  But I know that nature does a lot better than science when it comes to having babies.  So far, they are healthy and growing, albeit slowly, and I have been on bed rest for most of the pregnancy, especially the past several weeks.  Because I've been taking it easy, I haven't run into any complications so far, which I am SO grateful for.  I'll admit I've been going stir crazy lately, but I am happy to have the internet as my "window to the outside world". 

Now, a request to my family and friends out there:  please pray for me.  Pray that I will develop the attributes I need to so that I can be the best mother I am able to be.  Please offer encouragement, not questions about when the babies are coming; Love, not doubt; Kindness, not critical judgment; acceptance, not disagreement with the way I choose to handle things.  To all of you who already do these things, I thank you!  I love you all.

Easter

This Easter, I wanted to post something that is near and dear to my heart - my testimony.

I am so very grateful for my Savior.  His entire life was spent in the service of others.  He did nothing for Himself.  From his birth to His death and subsequent resurrection, He did nothing except what the Father told Him to do.  Here are the things that I know...

I know that Jesus was born in Bethlehem, as prophesied in ancient scripture.  The very name of the place means "house of bread", and the bread of life He is.  Although it was in a lonely stable that He came that night, angels and stars and miracles attended Him, and shepherds came to honor the babe lying in a manger.

I don't know much of His childhood, except that while yet a baby, He was brought to the temple to be blessed.  It was to that same temple He returned as a 12-year old boy.  His parents were frantic, and after 3 days, they found Him there - teaching the doctors and spiritual leaders.  What a sight it must have been, and what a marvelous blessing and joy it was for Mary and Joseph to find Him again after a 3 day separation.

At age 30, He began his formal ministry.  This began with His baptism by John the baptist in the river Jordan.  This was followed by a solitary journey into the wilderness to commune with Heavenly Father.  While in that wilderness, He fasted and prayed for 40 days.  This was followed by Satan's temptations, which Jesus refused to succumb to.

Next, Christ began to make Himself known among the people of his town.  He stood up to read in the synagogue, declaring that He was the one prophesied of to be the Messiah.  He was rejected.  He went on to teach and perform many miracles - even raising from the dead and healing the sick, lame and blind.

 After just 3 years, His ministry came to its earthly conclusion.  He entered the gates of Jerusalem, and His disciples laid palms at His feet as He passed on His donkey.

He celebrated the Passover with His apostles, taught them and prayed with them.  He instituted the Sacrament of the Last Supper, and washed their feet.

He went to the Garden of Gethsemane with a couple of His apostles, left them at the gate and went on, alone, to pray.  So great was His suffering and agony as He took upon Himself the sins, pains, afflictions and infirmities of all mankind, that He bled from every pore.

When He emerged from the Garden, He was betrayed, arrested and brought before Pilate.

He was beaten, abused, stripped and made to carry His own cross down the streets of the city.

They nailed Him to the cross, mocked Him and crucified Him.  While He hung there, He prayed for forgiveness for those that had placed Him there, made arrangements for John to care for His mother, and cried in anguish as the Father withdrew from Him.  Just before sundown, which marked the Jewish Sabbath, He declared "It is finished."  And He gave up the ghost.  Moments later, storms raged, and the soldiers marveled.  Truly, He was the Son of God.

He was buried in a borrowed tomb hastily, as the Jewish Sabbath had arrived.  Because of His popularity and following, guards were placed to watch over the tomb to be sure that no one stole the body to claim He had risen as He promised.

Three days passed, and Mary Magdelene went to the tomb to anoint Jesus' body, which hadn't been done due to the haste of His burial.  There, she found the stone rolled away, and the tomb empty.  She wept, for she thought that the body had been stolen.  A man approached and asked what the matter was.  She explained, and He replied, "Mary."  She turned to find that it was her beloved Savior!  She could not touch Him, but wept tears of joy at His return.

It had been 3 days, and He had been lost.  But, as in His childhood, He had been "about His Father's business".  The most important and powerful words ever spoken in the history of mankind are "He is not here, for He is risen."

This is my testimony - that He lives!  I know this with every fiber of my being, and I look forward to the day that He takes me by the hand and declares to me "Well done, thou good and faithful servant".  I share this in His Holy name, even Jesus Christ, Amen.