These past few weeks, I haven't felt much like blogging. In fact, I haven't felt like doing anything at all. Almost a month ago, we had a "false alarm" where I thought my water had broken - fyi, it didn't, I'm sure. I was having contractions, feeling like things were happening, and well as you can guess nothing has happened. So I wait.
I'm a pretty private person in general, so I don't share the specifics of my doc visits and medical life history with most people outside a few select friends and family members. I'm sure that most people don't understand why I am that way, but suffice it to say I have my reasons.
Prayer has been a very big part of my life, and especially this pregnancy. After so many losses in the past year, I realize I can't do it alone. So Heavenly Father and I have had and continue to have MANY conversations on a daily, sometimes hourly basis. He is trying to teach me patience. I am not a very good student. Apparently. I am doing my best for the time being, but I hope to have mastered it to some degree soon.
As for the babies... I don't like medical interventions. I've had enough in my life to know that my body doesn't react well to most of them, so I have been very clear that I don't want to be induced (unless it's absolutely necessary), and I don't want a C-section if I can at all avoid it. So, we are waiting until the babies are ready to come on their own. It's hard to wait, for sure. But I know that nature does a lot better than science when it comes to having babies. So far, they are healthy and growing, albeit slowly, and I have been on bed rest for most of the pregnancy, especially the past several weeks. Because I've been taking it easy, I haven't run into any complications so far, which I am SO grateful for. I'll admit I've been going stir crazy lately, but I am happy to have the internet as my "window to the outside world".
Now, a request to my family and friends out there: please pray for me. Pray that I will develop the attributes I need to so that I can be the best mother I am able to be. Please offer encouragement, not questions about when the babies are coming; Love, not doubt; Kindness, not critical judgment; acceptance, not disagreement with the way I choose to handle things. To all of you who already do these things, I thank you! I love you all.