Saturday, April 30, 2011

Patience

These past few weeks, I haven't felt much like blogging.  In fact, I haven't felt like doing anything at all.  Almost a month ago, we had a "false alarm" where I thought my water had broken - fyi, it didn't, I'm sure.  I was having contractions, feeling like things were happening, and well as you can guess nothing has happened.  So I wait.

I'm a pretty private person in general, so I don't share the specifics of my doc visits and medical life history with most people outside a few select friends and family members.  I'm sure that most people don't understand why I am that way, but suffice it to say I have my reasons. 

Prayer has been a very big part of my life, and especially this pregnancy.  After so many losses in the past year, I realize I can't do it alone.  So Heavenly Father and I have had and continue to have MANY conversations on a daily, sometimes hourly basis.  He is trying to teach me patience.  I am not a very good student.  Apparently.  I am doing my best for the time being, but I hope to have mastered it to some degree soon.

As for the babies... I don't like medical interventions.  I've had enough in my life to know that my body doesn't react well to most of them, so I have been very clear that I don't want to be induced (unless it's absolutely necessary), and I don't want a C-section if I can at all avoid it.  So, we are waiting until the babies are ready to come on their own.  It's hard to wait, for sure.  But I know that nature does a lot better than science when it comes to having babies.  So far, they are healthy and growing, albeit slowly, and I have been on bed rest for most of the pregnancy, especially the past several weeks.  Because I've been taking it easy, I haven't run into any complications so far, which I am SO grateful for.  I'll admit I've been going stir crazy lately, but I am happy to have the internet as my "window to the outside world". 

Now, a request to my family and friends out there:  please pray for me.  Pray that I will develop the attributes I need to so that I can be the best mother I am able to be.  Please offer encouragement, not questions about when the babies are coming; Love, not doubt; Kindness, not critical judgment; acceptance, not disagreement with the way I choose to handle things.  To all of you who already do these things, I thank you!  I love you all.

1 comment:

  1. Very well stated blog on the subject
    of 'Patience', Cami. I am rooting for you to learn what you need to soon, so you can get on with things. I know that Heavenly Father knows you personally and that he is watching over you (and those precious babies) and cares very much for all of you! I don't pray for patience too often because that brings me more trials, but hopefully you will gain the knowledge that you need very soon. (I hate to tell you it will be ongoing, tho.) I pray for you and your family constantly and know that good things will happen when the time is right! :) I love and support you always...Your Mom
    P.S. You will make a terrific parent--you have already begun that journey! Welcome to my world! ;)

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