Anyone who knows me will agree that I am a planner. I like to know what is coming ahead so I can plan for it. And those plans are not just general, they are as specific as I can possibly get.
Oh, I had all kinds of plans for myself this pregnancy. I was going to have the nursery unpacked and decorated by the time I was 30 weeks along, I was going to have meals prepared and frozen so I wouldn't have to worry about them after the baby came, I was going to deep clean the house before the big day. Plans. Lots of them...
Well, I would guess that Heavenly Father gets a kick out of listening to my "plans". I say this because whenever I have a plan, He has other ideas for me.
At 26 weeks, I began to have cramps and some contractions. They were concerning enough to make me go to the hospital to get them checked out. It's a good thing I did. I was, indeed having contractions. At first, the nurse wasn't too concerned, but then the doctor ordered a fetal fibronectin test (an indicator if labor is soon), and it came back positive. Then I started to dilate a bit. I was put on some medicine to stop the contractions, and I spent the night at the hospital. I was put on bed rest after that. There went my plans for the nursery and everything else.
I was planning and hoping to deliver naturally (drug free), by using a technique called Hypno-birthing. But, after so many false alarms (seriously, I went to the hospital a half dozen times), I ended up needing to be induced at 41 weeks. With Pitocin, I wasn't allowed off the monitor, so there went my plans for the natural labor I was hoping for.
I planned to breast feed exclusively for at least 6 months. Well, my son ended up not being able to latch on, and I pumped and bottle fed for 6 weeks before my milk supply dried up.
There are so many plans I have had, and they haven't worked out. But, I am learning that life isn't really meant to be planned. It is meant to be lived. As I have lived each day since my son was born, I have made it a point to live in the moment. I realize all too well that this time is precious and will be gone all too soon. This means I have let go of those control issues I usually have about cleaning the house and other things. Has it been easy? No. Absolutely not. Has it been worth it? Yes. Emphatically, yes.
So, what are my plans going forward? Guess I'll have to wait and see what the Lord has in store for me. =)